Halloween Pranksters Gifts

"Are your hands clean?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"It's a list of houses that gave out healthy treats last year. We won't be going to these houses this year."

"There's one thing that scares me at Halloween."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Scary stuff

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Tartar sauce.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Hallowe'en wake up call

"I think we both know who did it...."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

Back to the Holidays

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

"The stranger came bearing gifts of graham crackers and chocolate. No one suspected the murder weapon he hid behind his back until..."

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'