Halloween Planners Gifts

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Out To Lurch

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"