Halloween Innovator Pillows

"Kids now program their robots to do their trick-or-treating for them. There's a thin line between ingenuity and laziness."

"I couldn't get a pumpkin in the stores!"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"I was almost that last year."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Macbeth: Take Two

We have the right to refuse service to those not wearing a mask.

Ghost puddle

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

The following is a paid political announcement.

Fancy a pint?

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

'You complete me.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

"You've got to help her ... she has developed a fear of flying."

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

"We pay the living dead wage."

" ...so I said, 'what the heck', and installed an MP3 player too."

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

Candy Corn Dracula

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

Bad Halloween party games #7: Bobbing for Lobsters

Witch Doctor

Halloween sculptor

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

"I'm the ghost of clumsy past."