Halloween Innovator T-Shirts

"Kids now program their robots to do their trick-or-treating for them. There's a thin line between ingenuity and laziness."

"I couldn't get a pumpkin in the stores!"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"I was almost that last year."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Macbeth: Take Two

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

We have the right to refuse service to those not wearing a mask.

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

The following is a paid political announcement.

Fancy a pint?

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'You complete me.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

"You've got to help her ... she has developed a fear of flying."

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

"I'm the ghost of clumsy past."

Dog Walker

Halloween sculptor

Bad Halloween party games #7: Bobbing for Lobsters

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"We pay the living dead wage."

Candy Corn Dracula

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"