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Castaways at Christmas

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

C.P.A.

Pinata Trophy

Disgruntled clergyman opens a 'Natural Selection Box'

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'About that breath of yours -- maybe you should consult the Tooth Fairy.'

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

"I won't be needing you this year."