Hairdo Detective T-Shirts

An Afronaut

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Love at First Sight

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Like my new haircut?"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Little Red Riding Hood in Dallas

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

'After you with the camouflage.'

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

Hipster Police Department

"I can't believe it! -- My Mom spent $45 on this hairdo, and they still didn't put me in the gifted class!"

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

'Do you know who this is, Little Spike?'

Jim Jr. never felt like he fit in with the rest of his family.

'How would I like it? How about like it was before you ruffled it?'

A Macaroni in 1773

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

The Fashion for Elaborate Hairstyles

The Marcel Wave

"You said 'give me a cool hairstyle...' You never specified which decade."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, when are you going to spend a few bucks and get a read hairdo? That sorry hairdo you sport makes you look like an exotic parrot. You look like you should be sitting on a pirate's shoulder. - Redheadboy. My initial response might sound like a non sequitor: During the Hoover years, I dated someone in the FBI. I've continued my ties with the agency. I mentioned this insulting @#$% letter to my contact there and: What do you know?! He was

An Optical Illusion in a Lady's Orchestra

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

Squirrel Salon

Man mugging women on the way out of the hairdressers using a hairdryer: 'Hand over the purse or the bouffant gets it.'

Hmm, no, I think I prefer something off the rack.

"Anything in there about when the hair stylists' strike will end?"

Elton Coiffeur.

"Let's go for a crewcut to salute our tremendous military."

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"If you like Sally's new hairdo, dial 1-900-555-6220. If you don't like Sally's new hairdo, dial 1-900-555-6221."

'...can't you read??'