Hailstone Hero Gifts

"We had hail last night the size of..........hail!"

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Cleaning Lockers.

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

The Invention of Country Music.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Highlighting your Bible doesn't make you more spiritual than anyone else."

One Man Band

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'I call this exercise 'Urban Aerobics'

'Now you tell me that you're only a doctor of music!'

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

Princess Anne

'Your feet are killing me!'

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

The Zealous Huntsman

A dog gives a woman a birthday card while she plays a harpsichord.

Broken-hearted young man placing an advertisement in the paper.

The Best Run of The Season Pt. 1

The coward's way out.

Teacher: 'Billy-y-y! Keep your eyes on your own paper!'