Habit Identifier Gifts

I USED to know everybody by name. Now they're just Tuneless Whistle, Hacking Cough and Knuckle Pop.

'I admire your floatibility.'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"No matter how many times Martha berated Tony, she just couldn't break him of his habit of not chewing his food."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

Rodin's Nailbiter.

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Addiction Research Centre.

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

The Ten Resolutions

'Stop repeating yourself, Brown!'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'