Gyro Guru Pillows

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Apples for sale

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'But what is the universe for?'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

The trim reaper

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Inflating Boobs.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Organic Soldering.

'What are you eating now?'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Bonk!"