Gypsy Gifts

'You're going to meet a tall, dark stranger.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Mobsters at the Beach

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Did you remember to whack the cat?"

"Ey, Zoltan! Come in and fiddle around in here tonight."

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Mario's Family Portraits.

"He was a top boy - he could light up a room just by setting fire to it."

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

Cinema nasties

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

"You're gonna put me on that Nice List. Capeesh?"

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

"Why do they always do that with the concrete? The feet are the best part."

Pilattes

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

Woman carrying Bridget Jones video : 'I got your gangster film. It's a special edition with alternative scenes.'