Gym Dinosaur Gifts

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Ancient Racing

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"OK, ready to go again?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

I.T. Fear

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Bench Press Accident

"It's true: no more burpees."

"We're exclusively delts."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Exercising

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."