Digital Dinosaur Wrangler Gifts

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Cellphone Islands

The First Martian Dog.

I.T. Fear

"What did you download at school today?"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"Streaming"

King kong 5 G.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

Dissectum Paniculata

Cow Pilot.

Fish don't like worms.

"Error 404: Brain not found"

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

He still refuses to upgrade.

Automation of Security

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'It's too late! Bob's brain has been sucked out by the internet!'

Then one day I mistakenly hit "reply all."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Fish Feeding Frenzy

'It's the only way to keep him from spending all day online.'

The Wiki Man.

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"Henceforth I don't want you to start any new projects without consulting Professor Frankfurter or myself!"