Guy Fawkes Enthusiast Gifts

"Hand over the cash, or I set it off"

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

William Faulkner

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

You won't believe what happens in circle 6!! Dante's Inferno updated.

"Charles here isn't just a duck; he's a duck with a vision."

"I'm afraid you're not quite the sort of duck-headed man we're looking for."

"Cool bonfire app, man."

Let's make a bonfire of our troubles.

A lesson in wit

Conducting Handel's Fireworks Music with a Sparkler

Bath Bonfire

Bonfire

Fake News, 50 cents.

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

'Top floor, please.'

"...It's to celebrate winning the world cup in 1966"

To Doc who took care of me while I was alive...

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

'Guy, is that you?'

"At work, they call me benchmark."

A surprised man drives a car with his fireworks exploding.

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

'Excuse me, could I borrow a light?'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

If you are going to fact check my resume, I embellished the part about being an astronaut.

'Guy Fawkes and trick or treat - two for the price of one for one night only - please give generously.'

"Poor baby! You can come out now... all that nasty banging has stopped!"

'I told you not to let the children play with your Tony Blair effigy.'

"I'm concerned about my high bill."