Gunfight Reenactor Gifts

"Hang on, I think they're just aiming for our hats."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Piracy on a boating lake

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"But I use all of them!"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

Gaah! You sank my longship!

The Use of Cavalry

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'After A Knights Hard Day'

Knight school.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

Out of Court Settlement

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'