Gunfight Reenactor Pillows

"Hang on, I think they're just aiming for our hats."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Piracy on a boating lake

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

The Use of Cavalry

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Knight school.

Out of Court Settlement

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

Medieval Page Boy

'It's Colonel Bowie, Davy... he cut himself again.'