Gunfight Dramatist Gifts

Out of Court Settlement

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Draw!

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

Low Noon.

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

"I didn't want it to come to this. Launch the lawyers."

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep