Gunfight Dramatist Mugs

Out of Court Settlement

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Draw!

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Impartiality becomes you."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

Low Noon.

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep