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Ventriloquism for Gummies

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Vegetarian Birds

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

I want to hold your hand

Guy on stilts watching a balloon dog lift its leg on his stilts. Balloon animal maker watching on.

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

"The second bag is a doggie bag for my schnauzer, Buddy."

The rest of the herd were not amused.

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Your sugar is through the roof.'

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

No Shoes, No Service.

Boy George.

'You don't have to raise your hand here, little boy.'

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

"I love Boxing Day"

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Happy Halloween.

Hey, it's 5am somewhere, am I right?