Gum Gurus Gifts

'The boss just chewed me up and spit me out...'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Dating is so expensive...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

National Academy of Sport

"Nice haircut."

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

The Cat Spa