Guilt-wracked Philosopher T-Shirts

"Think of how ashamed they'd be if they knew their Father hogged the restroom key."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Nihilistic customer service"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"Don't believe in labels."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

Early Man Late Man

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'It was my unfair dismissal claim cap.'

'All I know is that when life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade...is there such a thing as curveballade?'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Get an afterlife!'

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Baxter finally gets a life