Guilt-ridden Gas Guzzler Pillows

'My other car is electric. . . honest!'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Gas eyedropper.

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

'Guzzle - guzzle - guzzle!' (hippy to big car driver).

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Helium Parachute

Addiction: high gas prices.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

"You say you were robbed? Could you describe the culprit?"

"Actually, I drink to forget what my car is doing to affect global warming."

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

'I used to be ambitious, but I find it easier to feel guilty about lack of ambition.'

"No thanks, I'm drilling for my own gas!"

"I don't want to buy a car just fill up my own"

'I want everything you've got!'

"It isn't that I mind driving around, but I'm only getting seven miles to the gallon."

Free thank you big spender with each fill up!

"My other car has lower emissions."

'Ozonhole!'

Doomsday Media Story.

"In spirit I'm an environmentalist. I love my SUV but I do my best to feel as guilty as possible when I drive it."

Pot of Gold.

"Think of how ashamed they'd be if they knew their Father hogged the restroom key."