Guilt Reflectors Gifts

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"Uh Oh! Looks like you're being un-friended."

Will assuage guilt for money.

How Our Age Reflects Upon Us

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

Sinner/Devout.

Shrink to criminal - 'At what age did you lose your innocence?'

'If he starts to pet you excessively whilst she's shouting it usually means he's feeling guilty.'

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

"I guess today separated the wheat from us chaff."

Whenever I try to do good it backfires on me phobia.

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

'God's dead. We're closed.'

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

No Christmas Lockdown

"Looking back at it now I wish I'd made more garbage."

"Everything I have, son, I have because your grandfather left it to me. I see now that that was a bad thing."

"Someday I want to be rich enough to get rid of everything and live like a monk."

The Origin of Creationism

"In 5 years I see myself wishing it was 10 years ago."

Bureau of Pursing Missions. They're in charge of financing missionary work.

Death of Arafat.

"I really thought that I'd get out more once the Ice Age ended."

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

"I looked at a woman's bottom after laughing at an ironic racism joke, then I got into an argument with a guy about his religion. When I got home my dog looked at me as if I was Hitler!!..."