Guidance Receiver Gifts

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Flyfishing for dummies.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

'In general, do the right thing.'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

Federal Guidelines

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Brownie Points

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

"It's really hard to make any plans. By the time we grow up there will be all new jobs that nobody's ever heard of!"

You were warned about mixed marriages!

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

'I'll get the bastard who said this was a short cut to the Post Office!'

"I want to be a Jockey."