Guests Pillows

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'I hope you don't mind. My wife is fussy about our funiture.'

'Brew?'

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'

'Your job is to see that no one interrupts while I'm on a roll.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Wedding Selfie

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

'You wished to see the house red?'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

'That explains why I have so much trouble parallel parking.'

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

Groom flees wedding

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'