Visits From Guests Pillows

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'Next!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

You've got company.

'Brew?'

Hospital Visit

Swing by won't you?

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'Boy, this is a no-nonsense kind of place, isn't it?'

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

'Hey, a pot...ted plant. Bless you, my man.'

Old lady at the door

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'Surprise!'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

A sign on the highway reads "Grandmother's House - Use right lane".

"When do your in-laws leave?"