Dinner Guests Pillows

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Grace For Flies

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Gesundheit!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'