Virtual Dinner Guest Pillows

'George will be dining with us via Skype.'

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"Gesundheit!"

Horn of Leftovers

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'Long distance romances in the twenty first century.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"My bouche was not amused."

"Appetizer is almost done."

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."