Virtual Gourmand Pillows

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

Microwave confusion.

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

'Thanksgiving dinner will be ready some time in February.'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"What're you doing for Thanksgiving, little buddy?" "Having a huge party." "It'll be full of turkey, cranberry sauce, wine, eggnog, football, and friends and family who love me dearly." "Oh, good. I was afraid you'd be alone all day playing video games." "'Turkey Slaughter VI' is no ordinary game." "You're coming to my place."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"At this time, if everyone would please switch their palates to airplane mode."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."