Guest Speaker Pillows

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

"Please welcome Doctor Simpkins, author of 'Good Posture: The Key to Power and Wealth."

"I don't believe in affirmations. I believe in confirmations. The money you've paid me to be here confirms that I am awesome."

'That explains why I have so much trouble parallel parking.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Campaign for Plain English

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

Inclusive speech

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Changing Minds

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."