Political Speaker Pillows

Lincoln Does Crowd Work

'He's in great demand as a speaker at political dinners. He's the only economist who doesn't use the 'R' word.'

"There's no stopping him now... he's on a roll!"

A Puppet Named Juan

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Campaign for Plain English

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Inclusive speech

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'