Public Speakers Pillows

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

'Please welcome our first speaker who will discuss 'The Challenges of Globalisation'.'

Campaign for Plain English

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

T. Kelso - Optimist. 'I understand he's in gread demand as a dinner speaker.'

Soapbox Lectures - To an audience of a dog.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'He's supposed to be an animal rights supporter but he'll talk the hind legs off a donkey!'

Joshua Feuerstein

Training for a speech

"I will not mince words, but I may slice, dice, and finely chop."

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

Joe Binden's Secrets of Public Speaking.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"You have to think outside the litter box."

'He may be a financial whiz but he isn't much of an orator.'

'How did your 'get tough on crime' speech go?'

'Could someone explain to him what a soundbite is?'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Another gaffe --- He's sound-biting off more than he can chew.

"Of course we have disinvited Chelsea Manning to be a fellow. Since the surgery, she's no longer a fellow, is she?"

Changing Minds

A Puppet Named Juan

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'