Guardian Angel Humorist Gifts

Guardian Angel is so addicted to his cell that he neglects his charge.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Policeman talking to lost child

An amplified harp

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I've been recalled, the defibrillator just kicked in."

Your angel is always with you

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"So much for eternal rest."

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

Late Night TV

'I knew I should've used the fluorescent golf balls.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"It's okay, you can go home. You know, this guys is a CEO."

Guardian Angels and Operations

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"The fact is, I wasn't thoroughly vetted."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Do you have other references? We feel your guardian angel would be biased in your favor."

"I guess they really are permanent."

'No, I'm not an angel of mercy. I'm your guardian angel. And apparently not a very good one.'

"Then my wife said it wouldn't kill me to go to the ballet with her."