Grumpy Gardner T-Shirts

'I know what you're up to, and it won't work.' Delbert P. Munson: Spring Fever's toughest nut to crack.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Moanathon.

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

Beware of Curmudgeon!

'FQ...?'

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'Quick, the coffee!'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'No.'

Moan Pig.

Pissed-off hour.

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

'Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the street this morning.'

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'