Grumpy Bear Enthusiast Gifts

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

'I demand a DNA test.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

"You inviting me to lunch? I don't know - after all - I barely know you!"

Baby Bear.

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

"I hate it..."

You have the worst spring breath.

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'I think we have some stowaways.'

'I seem to be trading hibernation for urination.'

"Trash pickup isn't for another two days, isn't it?"

I can hear growling, but I can't see the bear.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Does the hunter I just ate make me look fat?'

Atomic Bear: Part 5

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

National Park Map

"I find that I don't need to hibernate as early if I wear a cardigan."