Gruesome Humor Lover Gifts

Football player has head instead of ball.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

Clown looks nervously at Grim Reaper eating a banana next to him.

"Listen, I'm not going to keep letting you in and out all day."

Lady to tombstone: 'Sam, I invested all of your money in an IPO last week ... we're millionaires!'

"I recommend the mushrooms."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"When's the last time you flossed?"

'Self-help books for cynics'

A boast of ghosts

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

"Just as I expected, Mrs Frimley. You've got vampires."

"Okay, who wants a wrap, who gets a steak and who's the fish?"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

A vein of vampires

"You took your time!"

The Last Powerpoint