Grudge Holder Humor Pillows

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Pet Cemetery.

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

Football player has head instead of ball.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"My family likes to set up our grudges at Thanksgiving, stew over them through December, then take our revenge at Christmas."

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'

Know when to let it go.

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"After this, we'll set down some traps. That should deal with the rest of them."

"I had his name spelled wrong on purpose. It will drive him mad ...forever!"

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''