Growing Up Pillows

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned susidiary of you and Mom?'

'I know the younger generation are living at home longer these days, but you're not exactly the younger generation anymore son!'

"Big date tonight, Dad. Can I borrow the cardigan?"

'Brian...you're forty-two. Isn't it about time that you left home?'

Girl paint a free bird on the wall while man approaches with a cage.

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

"When I was your age, I was an adult."

'I can change! I swear!'

"No need to push, Mother—I'm going."

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"You can't come out and play because you have to tidy your room? Man, it's time you cut the apron strings."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Eight years old and no mobile!'

Wait for it....

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

"You don't need to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just Googled it."

'Our little 'birds and bees' talk went really well. I learned quite a lot.'

'Unfortunately, I can't sneak out at night without my Mum noticing...'

Sex Education

"I'm turning into my mother."

'I just go where the bike takes me.'

'Mom, I'm a big boy now! Stop cutting the bark off my logs!'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

"He makes it look so easy."

"Remember, son, when life gives you a lemon, call the attorneys."

"I feel like I need you less and less, Mom, now that I can make myself feel guilty all on my own."

"It's been so nice getting to interact with you for these past six years. Here's your first device."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

"Mom, how many more years until I reach that awkward age?"

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

'Son, your mother and I feel you're old enough now to know the truth... You weren't adopted... You have the same crummy genes as everyone else in this family.'

'Wow, you're right: You look pretty ugly in this baby photo...'

'You won't recognize junior, he has really grown.'