Growing Up Pillows

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned susidiary of you and Mom?'

'I know the younger generation are living at home longer these days, but you're not exactly the younger generation anymore son!'

Girl paint a free bird on the wall while man approaches with a cage.

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Brian...you're forty-two. Isn't it about time that you left home?'

"Big date tonight, Dad. Can I borrow the cardigan?"

"When I was your age, I was an adult."

'I can change! I swear!'

"You can't come out and play because you have to tidy your room? Man, it's time you cut the apron strings."

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"No need to push, Mother—I'm going."

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

'Eight years old and no mobile!'

Wait for it....

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"You don't need to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just Googled it."

'Our little 'birds and bees' talk went really well. I learned quite a lot.'

Sex Education

'Unfortunately, I can't sneak out at night without my Mum noticing...'

"It's been so nice getting to interact with you for these past six years. Here's your first device."

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'You have great talks everyday??'

'I remember when she was proud to be seen with her parents.'

'Wouldn't you like to go outside and interface with some of the other children?'

Billy strip: too young to watch the news.

'Life won't always put a coaster under you, son! Sometimes you sit on a cold, hard surface and you just deal with it!'

"I feel like I need you less and less, Mom, now that I can make myself feel guilty all on my own."

"It's weird...all I wanna do is hit fast forward, and all my parents can talk about is hitting rewind."

"Remember, son, when life gives you a lemon, call the attorneys."

"I'm turning into my mother."

The Facts of Life

'And what kind of miserable creature are you going to be when you grow up?'

'Well, that explains all that giggling in their room every night.'

'The good news is that in a few years they'll be chasing us with chocolates and flowers.'