Growing Up Moments Pillows

From the Big Book of Childhood Realizatons: No. 3,271

Haircuts

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Bike Rides

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

Jack in the Box

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"You used to be a lot more fun."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Origins Of Evolution

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

'I can change! I swear!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'We think he has a future in politics.'