Growing Up Guru Pillows

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'I suppose adults are just obsolete children...'

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"#Win!"

'What's play?'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Playing Mozart to the baby.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."