Group Participator Gifts

"Hi, I’m David and I’m here because I like to introduce myself to other people."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Yes, that person there...'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

'Jason and the Argosnaughts.'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

Al Baldasaro

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

'I have proof my support group is plotting against me.'

"I'd like you to welcome Grinda to our group. Grinda has issues with potion abuse, poison apples, and a history of negative relationships with men and toads."

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

Tender Identity Crisis

Hillary Clinton

Voter Rights

'I'm fed up with being told we're all too dim to manage any but the simplest of voting systems.'

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

"It's NBC. They want to know what it's personally worth to us for them to keep 'E.R.' on the air."

"AIDS awareness...immigration...voter registration..tackling dropout rates... We can make this country better if we all commit to getting active!"

Government surveillance has got me worried. What if it turns out Uncle Sam is collecting millions of phone records? But not mine. What if millions are under surveillance, but not me? How fair is that? Medical surveillance might be appropriate.

Alcoholics Eponymous

'Not much of a support group are they.'

"Our new MP promised a new politics, no more sleaze...a focus on local issues, on local needs. He said he wanted to be an old fashioned constituency MP."

Hamlet on interactive TV.

'For a chance to win back your wallet, visit my website and complete the online survey.'

I'm attending a 3 week, 6-part seminar with 15 speakers to learnhow to think for myself.

"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."