Groundhog Whisperers Gifts

Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of civilization

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

"You're on mute."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

A psychic mows the lawn.

"He never takes me anywhere."

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Doc, I've got a phobia about shadows.

'Okay - which of you wise guys just goosed me?'

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

"He's very good. He disected my first husband."

Slow, Men at Work.

"Is there anybody there..?" Knock once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'..."

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

Climbing with a mountain goat.

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

Communicate with the departed via the cloud.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

"be-be-be-be"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

A Classic Goldfish Game.

Stealth grazing.

"Sick? No. Everything is fine. We're all just under the weather."

'It all goes back to something that happened when you were a frog.'

Be the grass...

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

"For the record. This is usually the exact moment during one of your projects when things go horribly wrong."