Grooming Satirists Gifts

"Knuckle ball. Fork ball. Fast ball. Hair ball."

Missing my hair.

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

Twenty Blades Razor

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Centurion in a Shower

"This time lick my entire body."

"I just got the Google Earth app. I didn't know you had a bald spot."

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Saloon Selectives

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"It's not quite in the center..."

"Wash and Quo"

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

Man shaving from foam on a mug of beer.

Shampoo for Medusa's scaley and slimey hair.

The Barber in my Neighborhood

'I just had another LOUSY hot shower this morning.'

Back-Stage Shaving

Where wood shavings come from.

Young boy talking about shaving

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

"My hair always looks awful in the winter."

'Yeeoww Dangit, Morrie - cut your toenails,, You're gonna rip the sheets'

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

'It only takes a second to pick up a comb and make it look like you give a damn.'

Man not happy about going bald.

Akme Hair Removal and Waxing