Grooming Satirists T-Shirts

"Knuckle ball. Fork ball. Fast ball. Hair ball."

Missing my hair.

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

Twenty Blades Razor

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

"This time lick my entire body."

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Centurion in a Shower

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Saloon Selectives

"It's not quite in the center..."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"Wash and Quo"

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

Man shaving from foam on a mug of beer.

The Barber in my Neighborhood

Shampoo for Medusa's scaley and slimey hair.

Young boy talking about shaving

Back-Stage Shaving

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

Where wood shavings come from.

'Yeeoww Dangit, Morrie - cut your toenails,, You're gonna rip the sheets'

"My hair always looks awful in the winter."

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

Man not happy about going bald.

Akme Hair Removal and Waxing

'It only takes a second to pick up a comb and make it look like you give a damn.'

"Well - you DID say you needed your hair cutting really badly . . !"