Grooming Critic Gifts

The Barber in my Neighborhood

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Bathing the dog

Dating is so expensive...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Absolutely not!"

Dogs shaving

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Too much concealer?"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Movember

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."