Grooming Fanatic Pillows

"Notice anything different about me?"

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Lesser known greek gods,

"Absolutely not!"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

Wash and Go...to hell...

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

Hedgehog/Punk Romance

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

Time to trim the eyebrows!

The wool club for mammoths.

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Yes dear, I'm sure if it were smaller the pepper mill would make a fine ear and nose hair trimmer."

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

Bad Hair Day

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'I just got so fed up with bumping into things all the time that I cut my fringe...'

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

Man heading towards the House of Mirrors with a shaving kit.

Lion with hair straighteners.

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

'Well, maybe the world isn't quite ready for our ultra-deluxe smooth glide 36 blade razor.'

Boy to Dad about broken razor: 'That's funny. It was working just fine when I groomed the dog this morning.'