Grocery Strategist T-Shirts

"We can't be out of mustard. I'm showing two bottles in the panty, top shelf, on the left"

'Man! talk about turning a lemon into lemonade!'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Supermarket Merge

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Friendly bacteria

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Artificial Isle

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'But what do you sell?'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'