Grocery Shopping Humorists Pillows

'Oh, stop it, George! I hate this part of grocery shopping as much as you do.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'The stuff legends are made of'

Low income vampires.

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'Yes?'

Great moments in shopping

Free Range / Deranged

Self Checkout

That was 16 items.

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

Fresh milk - Self service

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

'This could be a new record!'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.

'We're out of peanut butter.'

Animal Crackers. All the animals in this box are dinosaurs! Better check the expiration date!

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

The Shopped Elsewhere: 'They take their loyalty card scheme very seriously at this supermarket.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

Market items.