Grocery Adventurer Pillows

Safe Social Distancing - Pirate Treasure Hunt

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Before/After

I wish I'd had the review.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Holiday Supplies

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Platter confusion.

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Picasso

Decaying corpse

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."