Grizzly Humorist Pillows

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Glance Exchange

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"It's just a tree."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"How about a hand."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth