Agrarian Humorist Pillows

'Were you out drinking last night?'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

No-Work Orange

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Uncle Donnie

John F. Kennedy

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Beware of Don"